The Ultimate War: Part 1
by Lord of Thorns
Summary: A fool awakens the most powerful beings, potentially causing the end of the universe.  It will take three worms a journey across multiple dimensions to stop them.  What's worse is they only have 9 months to do so.  Part 1 of a 2 part story
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not and probably never will own Worms.**

This is the sequel to The Island War,so it is highly recommended you read that story first. It will take a lot longer to complete this story, so be patient. This picks up approximately where the last left off.

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><p><em><strong>So it begins…<strong>_

_Hello, I'm still here. The narrator with the Russian accent, anyone remember? No? Screw you._

"How 'bout this one Sigurn," asked a relatively small worm.

"No, this one has no freshwater source Tomb," answered a burly worm with a deep voice and thick Scottish accent.

"Seriously, we've been searching for days. Can't we settle for this one?"

"And become a Weapon Tester? No way, we have to find an island with all qualifications."

"What's so bad about being a Weapon Tester? You get to experiment with all sorts of weapons."

"Not that kind of Weapon Tester. They test weapons on us."

"Wouldn't that attract all sorts of Worm rights activists," queried Tomb.

"Under normal circumstances yes, but when was the last time you saw someone from the Mainland around here," remarked Sigurn.

"Oh yea, only worms born on these islands bother to stay. Mainland worms won't even visit so news of what happens here never gets out."

"As far as they are concerned we don't exist."

"Look, we are on another island."

"What is this one?"

"I don't know, but according to my GPS we are 900 ft. above sea level."

"But this island is only 50 ft. thick." _(They do not mean human feet distances, try scaling it to worm size.)_

"This just doesn't add up," Tomb deduced.

"I've got a bad feeling about this," Sigurn responded, "Let's explore."

"I'll take a look around; you take a ninja rope to the bottom of the island." _So Sigurn headed to the bottom whilst Tomb explored the top. He squirmed around looking for anything mysterious and checking off the list. At the exact center of the landscape the ground crumbled around him, and he plummeted for about 30 ft. He hit the ground and blacked out. Sigurn was "carefully" ninja roping to the bottom, a rope in one hand and a katana in the other. He was challenging himself to get as close to the water as possible, occasionally skipping off the top, and once dunking his head underwater. When he realized he had been under the island, he looked up and saw a small cave. He decided it would be a good time to investigate, so he put on an Indiana Jones hat and pulled out his whip. "It's dark" was probably the first thought that went through his mind but I do not know because I cannot read minds. The cave twisted and turned, it inverted and extroverted (that does not seem right), it turned inside out and outside in, which I think are the same things. Finally, it came to an opening. What he saw filled him with dread, the meeting room of the United States House of Representatives, so many politicians. Wait… that might just have been the mushrooms he found on the cave wall. He cleared his head and took another look around, just an empty cave with a giant lake in the middle and a small island at the center of it (an island in an island). He looked at the island and saw two worms. Tomb and *Gasp* they had to get out immediately (*Gasp* is not the worms name, he actually gasped, which Tomb cannot do). He dashed across the top of the water, picked up Tomb, and got out as fast as possible._

"Tomb," Sigurn yelled, slapping him awake, "this is Mystery Island #1!"

"That's not good is it," Tomb questioned.

"You remember who we trapped here, remember?"

"Yes, and why did you say remember twice?"

"If we found him you know who else could find him?"

"John Taylor?"

"No! He could find anyone."

"Elton John?"

"No!"

"John Smith?"

"No!"

"Well, what about-"

"No! Not Albert Einstein, not Prime Minister Saxon, and _not_ Charlie Sheen!"

"Then who?"

"You really don't know," inquired Sigurn while hitting his face.

"No, I don't know, you eliminated my top guesses."

"What use would Elton John have for him?"

"I do not know."

"It's Joe Bananas!"

"Oh, why didn't I think of that," complained Tomb.

"If he is awakened along with the other two the universe could be destroyed!"

"This sounds like a job for… Superman."

"He would be killed within 24 hours."

"No, not Superman."

"We're looking at three worms who can punch clean through the fabric of space and time! They can rewrite reality to make it so he never existed!"

"So can you," Tomb protested.

"Yea, but I won't. They are evil so they will."

"So we hope and pray."

"No, this is even out of Gods control, all we have is hope."

"Well then, I suppose we should continue our search for the new Harvest Island."

"Off we go then."

_Meanwhile, an evil awakens._

_Joe Bananas tossed and turned, turned and tossed, then woke suddenly. That was the worst nightmare he had ever had. He dreamed that Sigurn, Tomb, Rocky Balboa, Bambi, and worst of all, a United States Senator, were chasing him. Sigurn caught up to him, punched him in the face and threw him to Tomb, who repeatedly bashed his head into the ground. Rocky then picked him up and started punching the living daylights out of him. After that was over Bambi stepped on him a few times, kicked him and finally turned him to the politician, who started promising things that he would never pull through on. The horror, the horror. Anyway, he stretched out, yawned, and went to eat an apple. About halfway through the apple several thoughts struck him: what was that warm spot in the apple; where did I get this apple, we don't own any; why is Mao singing; since when did we have an owl; maybe I could find those secret worms, wake them up, use them to take over the world, and kill them when I'm done. Joe Bananas then looked at his apple and saw a very tiny parasitic worm. Even worms accidentally eat worms in apples. Suddenly another thought struck him; why is Mao singing, he died in a fish last week. He tentatively looked over, and saw an apple floating in midair. In an instant the apple started to move very quickly away from him, he heard __The Twilight Zone__ theme in the background._

"Evil, Ming, Yertigonilt," Joe Bananas yelled, "get over here."

"What is it," complained his great uncle, Evil, as he squirmed through the door._ Evil is PurpleLites brother, PurpleLite is DragonFace's father, and DragonFace is Joe Banana's father. It's a very confusing family tree; it would take forever to explain it._

"We are going to take over the world."

"And how to you propose we do that," demanded Ming as he squirmed into the room.

"It's very simple, we find those secret worms, wake them up, use them to take over the world, and kill them when we're done."

"No! No no no no no no no no no no," yelled an exasperated Yertigonilt as he entered the room, "No! That is a very bad idea, very very _very_ bad idea."

"Oh, come on, it couldn't possibly be that bad."

"It's worse than when you tried to release those Weeping Angels into the base of the Gods."

"That was a very bad idea, luckily I had a vortex manipulator."

"Yes, otherwise I would've had to help discover the islands with Storic and Odio." _(Pronounced Odie.)_

"And I would have been electrocuted by Thomas Edison when he was trying to prove AC current was dangerous," Evil put in.

"It wouldn't have happened right away," said Joe Bananas, "I mean Nikola Tesla was passing 1,000,000 volts of alternating current energy through his body, no one was paying attention to you, and you could have escaped."

"Was he okay," Ming interrupted.

"He was fine, afterwards he even had a volunteer from the audience do it," Evil explained.

"Since I have a feeling this is going to come to an argument, Edison invented the light bulb, Tesla developed Alternating Current energy (AC). I honestly think Edison could have ignored the light bulb and everything would have turned out the same. Now, if Tesla did nothing there would be Direct Current (DC) power stations every two miles because of how inefficient it was."

"Who developed DC," asked Ming.

"Edison, he saw absolutely no future in AC power."

"Ha, the fool."

"You didn't need to go into such a long speech," Evil complained.

"Anyway, on we go," announced Joe Bananas.

"Do you even know where it is," questioned Yertigonilt.

"Well, no, but I have a hunch."

"Yea, well, I have a hunchback, but that's not getting us anywhere," Evil put in.

"Oh, another bad idea," started Yertigonilt, "you tried to use the Vashta Nerada against PurpleLite. He lost his hand, Miss Hell is gone, and you can't have anymore kids."

"That wasn't my fault, and I already have enough kids."

"Remember when you-"

"Enough, sure I've made a lot of mistakes, but I'm certain this one will work."

"Just like last time, or the time before that?"

"Yea, well, this is different."

"How."

"This time I'm not dealing with aliens, God, narrators, explosives, newspapers, beer, or Smart phones."

"That makes me feel so much better," Yertigonilt said sarcastically.

_Meanwhile, somewhere that I do not care to remember the name of._

"Sigurn," Tomb yelled excitedly, "This island has all the designated parameters."

"Okay then," Sigurn answered, "Put a flag in the ground and let's head back."

"Hey, I think Einstein may have a new weapon."

_10 to 29 minutes later._

"Einstein," Tomb yelled, "We found an island."

"Just in time to test my latest creation, the icicle."

"You didn't invent that, you just pulled it off the overhang."

"Yes, but I found a way to employ it as a weapon."

"It will be in short supply during summer."

"That's why Harvest Island needs to be far enough south in order to grow fruit and vegetables year round."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"You see," Einstein ignored Tomb, "the icicle can be used to stab enemies, drop on enemies, throw at enemies, you can put it on the ground and shove enemies on it, you can knock them off cave roofs onto enemies, you can prod enemies with it, and you can set off oil barrels, push mines, and lick it for energy."

"That's one multipurpose weapon."

"We have an issue Einstein," Sigurn burst in.

"And what would that be?"

"We found him," Sigurn said ominously.

"Him who?"

"He who's name must not be said."

"Voldemort?"

"No."

"Oh, now I know."

"Sigurn," Tomb suddenly questioned, "Why can't you just rewrite reality so that they never existed?"

"Because certain worms are glued into reality. Me, you, DragonFace, and those three."

"Well, couldn't you just make it so their parents never existed?"

"No, all direct ancestors are also stuck in reality, in a certain way so that everything concerning them happened."

"Well, you are the Grim Reaper, couldn't you take their life."

"That's not a full time job. So I don't have the power to take lives that way, I can only remove the souls of those already deceased. I can only kill them in a fair or unfair fight, an ambush, a sniper bullet, etcetera. Luckily, if worse comes to worst I can always use all my life energy to remove them from existence, unfortunately that destroys all our ancestors and descendants."

"We must hope they are never discovered. Oh yea, are there any tell-tale signs they have arrived."

"Yes, objects will come flying out of nowhere, people will randomly die or be seriously injured, time will start falling apart, space will rip itself apart eventually, stars will implode-"

"Like Betelgeuse, in the constellation Orion."

"No, like Tim Allen or Sandra Bullock."

"Oh, those stars."

"Anyway, the ground will shake itself apart, God will go into hiding, politicians will start agreeing, crimes rates will decrease, photo bombers will increase, King Arthur shall rise again, the moon will start rotating faster, Winston Churchill will be the British Prime minister again, and vultures and lawyers will start being different."

"Wow, the end of the world and the universe."

"Luckily it will take 9 years for everything but the first two."

_Meanwhile, on Mystery Island #1_

"Are you sure this is a good idea," asked Ming.

"I'm positive, we let them kill our enemies, then we kill them," said Joe Bananas

"Don't forget these are super beings," began Yertigonilt, "They are very very powerful."

"Relax, everything will be fine. Look, the ground falls into a tunnel."_ So they jumped into the tunnel._

"Look, there he is."

"Don't wake him up," stressed Evil.

"Wake up! We need your help," yelled Joe Bananas as loud as he could into a megaphone.

"Whew, he didn't wake up," said Yertigonilt, sounding very relieved.

**Who dares disturb my slumber!**

"It is us," announced Joe Bananas, "Yertigonilt, Evil, Ming, and I, Joe Bananas."

**You have trespassed!**

"We have come to request your assistance."

**I have been asleep for 74 years, sentenced to an eternal nightmare.**

"Well the nightmare is over, where are the other two?"

**Dragon Island #4 and Mystery Island #5.**

"Thanks, and why are they called the Mystery Islands?"

**Each one is higher up than the last, yet none of them touch any other land or water.**

"And where will you go?"

**To your base, I will help with your plots.**

"Away we go then."

**Wait! I will wake them.**

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><p>"Sigurn," Tomb yelled.<p>

"What," Sigurn yelled back.

"Nothing."

_Sorry for the sudden scene jump without narration, I was changing my pants. I was afraid of them._

"What," Sigurn asked.

_Nothing, nothing. Oh, I forgot to mention, Yertigonilt also wet himself when he yelled Wait._

"When who yelled wait?"

_It doesn't matter, mind your own business!_

"Sigurn," Einstein yelled, "your team and the Elite Force are needed for an urgent experiment."

"We are not going to be turned into animals, firing experimental weapons, or testing utilities."

"Hey, that jet pack may have ripped off that worms arms, but I got them back on!"

"Anyway, what is it?"

"I need you to test the advantages of an armed base."

"Aren't all bases armed?"

"Well, yes, but I'm talking more about a castle, with mounted turrets, large weapons and rations, and so on."

"How long is this test?"

"The rest of the winter."

"9 months!"

"It's not my fault you picked this far south for a base!"

"Fine, Rhubarb, Freya, Amoeba, DragonFace," Sigurn yelled, "get over here!"

"What," complained DragonFace, "I was busy doing something."

"Gather your troops, we are heading to a base."

"Fine, Tomb… wait you are already here, Blasted, Knuckles get over here!"

_Worms from the Gods and the Elite Force squirmed in from different sides. Rhubarb and Blasted took one look at each other and started arm wrestling, Rhubarb was twice the size of a normal worm, and had a strength to match, Blasted was 1.5 times the size, but was a bit stockier. The two were locked in "mortal" combat for 45 minutes before Rhubarb sent Blasteds arm through the table (made out of air by the best airsmith in the world, Sigurn (not to be confused with Aerosmith) hey, parenthesis in parenthesis) and the floor, leaving a crater that could've been left by a meteor the size of a stove. That is why two worms who can bench press 6,500 pounds do not arm wrestle._

"Why are you still alive," protested Sigurn.

_Because I am a good narrator and no one has bothered to kill me._

"Well stop narrating so much."

_You asked me that last story and I still haven't complied._

"Anyway, we are going to Crow Base 1."

"That experimental base," asked Rhubarb.

"Yes, we will be spending the next 9 months there, alone, cut of from all civilization and uncivilization, in close quarters, were we can murder each other with out anyone else knowing."

"No," screamed Freya, "I don't want to go there!"

"Too bad, we're already here."

"How did this happen," inquired Freya.

"I teleported us here."

"What happened to the flash of light?"

"I made it so it didn't exist."

"It's freezing."

"Yea, well it's winter."

"Hey," yelled Knuckles, "we don't get a vote?"

"No, this is a Scientocracy, wait… that's rule by science. It is Scientarchy, ruled by scientists."

"So that means we are governed by the science factory."

"Yes, but they are not politicians."

"…"

"What does … mean?"

"Never mind."

_Suddenly the universe imploded. The end._

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_Again just kidding._

"Fruitcake! No! Yes! Oh shut-up. No, I will not be silenced. Screw you."

"Sigurn," yelled Tomb, "stop arguing with yourself."

"I made myself Schizophrenic!"

"Well we don't want to here you arguing with yourself all winter, it would drive us insane"

"You used the wrong hear Tomb," Sigurn pointed out.

"Well unschizophrenify yourself."

"Why did you just make up a word?"

"I couldn't find a word to describe that."

"Hey, stop driving us insane," yelled Rhubarb.

"Only five minutes and we're on the verge of killing each other," complained Amoeba.

"Fine, everyone start working on something," ordered Sigurn, "Rhubarb, check for loose bricks, doors, windows, and prop very heavy objects against any loose objects. Freya, um… start digging a moat around the base because I can't think of a better job for you. Amoeba, check all weapons supplies, write them down, and check on all turrets."

"Blasted, assist Rhubarb," DragonFace ordered, "Tomb, gather firewood, rocks, and fetch Freya some shovels. Knuckles, what can you do with steel fists as hands?"

"I could knock down trees by punching them," answered Knuckles.

"Good, do that."

_Qwertyuiop._

"What does that mean," asked Sigurn.

_I don't know and I don't care._

"Ignorance and apathy."

_Hey, stop._

"Why don't you go do your narratey thingy and let me and DragonFace talk."

_I'm listening._

"I mean we have top secret stuff to discuss."

_Fine. So all worms started their jobs and Sigurn and DragonFace started conferencing about top secret stuff. Now, I am very certain that I am capable of listening in on th- *__**ow***__. A random object just came flying out of nowhere and hit me on the head. I think that was one of the side-effects of my anti-optimistic, the opposite of an anti-depressant. Lets see here, side-effects may include but are not limited to, Tuberculosis, Malaria, Alien hand syndrome, Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva, an increase in optimism, an increase in depression, Diarrhea, Gonorrhea, Instant death syndrome, Blue Skin syndrome, Alice in wonderland Syndrome, Capgras Delusion, Fregoli Delusion, Imploding Organs, Exploding appendages, Suicide, Murder, Counterfeiting, Exploding Head syndrome, Androidism, Zombieism, Vampirism, Werewormism, Scoliosis, Polio, Poliosis, Osteoporosis, Brain Tumours, Mesothelioma, Appendicitis, skin cancer, Owls, and, ah here we are, Objects flying out of nowhere._

"Did you say objects flying out of nowhere," Sigurn asked.

_Yes._

"Well stop taking that anti-optimistic."

_Fine, I will. I didn't want to be overly optimistic._

"Hey, I was just hit with a flying object!"

_Are you taking that medication?_

"No, I am not."

_Did you know someone once wrote a book without a single "e" in it? The book had like 50,000 words in it._

"You know that this could be very bad."

_I know, it's getting harder and harder to breathe._

"Not that, I'm talking about the objects."

_But I might die from my medication._

"How long have you been taking it for?"

_Three or four years._

"Yep, you are going to die."

_Why didn't the FDA take it off the market?_

"It takes a very long time for them to act."

_No! No, no, no. *sob*_

"Oh, quit your whining, you signed up for death. Our narrators only last a few days usually before being killed."

_Why didn't I know about this?_

"Because we don't put it in the job description, we need narrators."

_I'm going to do everything I ever wanted to do. Before I *ugh*._

"I don't think he remembered the Instant Death Syndrome."

_Hello everyone, I am the new narrator._

"Hey, someone with a Czech accent."

_I know, I was born in Czechoslovakia._

_Oh no you don't!_

"I thought you were dead, Russian narrator."

_I forgot a side-effect, Instant Life Syndr- *ugh*_

_Instant Death Syndrome again?_

"I think so."

_Hello. I'm alive again._

_***Boom***_

_What did you do to the Russian narrator?_

"I killed him."

_What did you do?_

"I threw an owl at him."

_Okay, I sort of liked him._

"Ah! Gay!"

_Not gay, bisexual._

"Ah! Bisexual!"

_***Boom***_

_Seriously, is this a narrator killing spree?"_

"It will be if narrators keep bugging me."

_No, no I'm fine._

"Hey you have a Long Island accent, it annoys me."

_Yea, and you have a Scottish accent, which annoys me._

"Hey, you're pushing your luck."

_Sorry, sorry, I'll be good from now on._

"Anyway, back to the mysterious flying objects."

_What about them? And what objects?_

"There are some mysterious objects flying out of nowhere."

_Is that good or bad?_

"That's bad, very bad."

_Why, is it a side-effect from medication?_

"No, it means that possibly he has awakened."

_Who's he?_

"He who shall not be named."

_Voldemort?_

"No."

_Okay, I don't know_

"Well, I'm not saying his name. Now I'm going inside because my tail is starting to freeze off. Why don't you go narrate someone else?"

_Okay._

_Meanwhile, at the base of the Evil Team._

"Okay, with your help we will take over the world," announced Joe Bananas.

"And why should we help you," demanded the first worm.

"Because, with your help we will control everything."

"We could do that by ourselves," replied the second worm.

"Well, with our help it will be easier and more efficient."

"Why are you just going for the world," asked the third and final worm, "We could control the universe."

_What is going on here?_

"Who the hell are you," the second worm demanded.

_Whoa, very demanding voice. Well I'm new here and I would like to know what is going on._

"Your accent bugs me," decided the third worm.

_Well your accent bugs me._

_And that is exactly how I came here. The newest narrator with a Welsh accent._

"No one makes fun of my accent, I don't even have an accent."

_Well, to everyone who has an accent different than yours you appear to have an accent._

"I forgot about that."

_Anyway, I am needed elsewhere._

_Meanwhile, at that test base that I can't be bothered to remember the name or location._

_I'm back, wait… I'm here._

"What happened to the Long Islander," Sigurn asked.

_He was killed for making fun of an accent._

"That actually happened here, he made fun of my accent, luckily I didn't kill him. I knew that attitude would get him eradicated."

_Now I shall mark this chapter as finished._

_**To Be Continued…**_

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><p>I have finally completed the first chapter of my second story. Note, The Tyrant Uprising does not count as my story because it is not being written by me. I will remind my friend to get to work on it ASAP. Another note, we go through narrators very quickly here for no apparent reason. All my stories are in the southern hemisphere. Also 10 to 29 minutes later was a typo I didn't bother to change it, it was supposed to be 10 to 20, I accidentally hit the nine. I will not try to explain the family tree, I already have figured it out and it is very complicated. As for who those worms are, it will be mentioned later, if you are not that patient read the other story and do the math. More made up weapons on the way. Now for questions:<p>

Where is my pen? (Yes, it is still lost.)

Where did Sigurn learn to disappear?

How did Tomb get his name?

Who are those evil worms?

Does anyone know any accents I haven't used?

Why are all the good worms so naïve?

Why do I keep mentioning owls?

What was DragonFace doing? (He said he was doing something.)

Good-day, the rambler is going.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Continued…**_

"Why did you just cut the chapter," Sigurn yelled to the narrator.

_Because it was getting too long!_

"Well, it was a horrible spot to do that!"

_I had to finish the chapter there!_

"The Russian narrator would never have done that!"

_Are you saying you don't like my narrating skills!_

"You are unqualified for the job!"

_Well according to the screenplay no one was ever qualified except for the Russian narrator so ha!_

"He wrote a screenplay?"

_Yep, it is right here, __The Life of a Russian Narrator in a Worm World__._

"Give that here, it's in his will."

_Well his wills wording leaves it to me._

"No it doesn't, I have his will right here."

_Oh crap. Run away._

"Get back here!"

_So Sigurn chased the narrator across Hill and Dale, over mountains and through steel walls. Determined to catch the narrator who forged my will. The chase went on for hours before anyone realized that I was narrating. The Welsh narrator paled even more and Sigurn cheered, "Yay, the Russian narrator is alive." The Welsh started running faster, Sigurn in hot pursuit. The chase continued for several more minutes before I decided Sigurn was never going to remember. I yelled, 'Just erase him out of existence'. So Sigurn complied and the Welsh narrator ceased to exist, I started wondering why I still remembered him. Sigurn squirmed back over and started celebrating._

"How are you still alive," Sigurn asked.

_Remember the Instant Life Syndrome?_

"Yes."

_Well Einstein used a Lightning Strike on me._

"Why did you asked about the ILS?"

_Just wanted to see if that is what you assumed, if it is you are an idiot._

"Hey!"

_Anyway, Crow Base 1._

"We're already here."

_Why do you do that?_

"It is amusing."

_Well stop it._

"Never! Muahahahahahahahahahahahaha."

_Muahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. My evil laugh was bigger than yours was._

"Don't push your luck."

_I've been pushing it for several weeks, nothing permanently bad has happened. Yet._

"Actually," Tomb burst in, "I have to agree with him. Muahahahahahahahah- *cough* *cough*."

_You have failed your evil laugh, young grasshopper._

"No one is going Jackie Chan here, got it."

_Yes your honor._

"Good, I'm going to check on Freya, make sure he hasn't screwed up."

_I bet you $987 he has._

"You're on."

_3 to 4 minutes later._

"Here you go."

_How did he screw up this time?_

"He forgot what a moat was, he was using the wrong end of the shovel, the dirt was piled up in front of the drawbridge, and he forgot how to dig."

_Wow, he really did screw up._

"I know, you don't even want to know what happened to that poor squirrel."

"Attack!"

_Who was that?_

"You're the narrator, I thought you knew."

"Hello, I yelled attack."

"Oh, right. Defend!"

_Touchdown!_

"I challenge that play."

_We shall take this argument to Modern Warfare 3._

"What about me, Log, attacker of your castle?"

_You can join our play challenge._

"No, I will have none of it. I came here to kill all you."

"Yea, well it just so happens that Freya, Tomb, and Knuckles are out there."

"Crap. Run away!"

_Back to MW3._

"Away."

_Wait… I have to narrate elsewhere._

_Meanwhile, somewhere in an evil place._

"Now, for evil schemes. Ideas anyone," asked Joe Bananas.

_I have one!_

"Ah! The Russian narrator is back."

"Who is he," asked the first worm.

_Ah! I am going back._

_Meanwhile, back at that one base._

"Hey, you're back. Ready for Modern Warfare 4?"

_What happened to Modern Warfare 3?_

"Yea, well in the thirty seconds you were gone they made an X-box 720 and a Playstation 4."

_Already?_

"Oh, look. Playstation 5 is out. Along with Windows 9.0."

_One moment. I am going to kill the inventors of those._

_10 to 57 minutes later._

"Welcome back."

_They are dead. No more technological advancements until later._

"Are you still taking that anti-optimistic?"

_No, are you? _

"No."

_Then why are there objects flying out of nowhere?_

"Is there something you haven't been telling me?"

_Yes, I am the narrator after all._

"Well, will you tell me?"

_All in good time._

"Wait! I just realized something!"

_Ah! It's too soon!_

"Wait… I forgot.

_Whew._

"I just remembered!"

_Ahhhhh!_

"Wait, I remember."

_Didn't you just say that?_

"Oh yea. You hear that?"

_No._

"It is the meeting button."

_The meeting button?_

"A big red button in the Science Factory that calls all worms to a meeting."

_All I hear is screaming._

"I know, the button has a slight problem with it."

_Which would be?_

"Anytime someone presses the button they get horrendously electrocuted."

_Have you tried fixing it?_

"Tried and failed. We have made the button explode, burst into flames, make worms spontaneously combust, send objects flying, and it once called a meteor."

_Yikes._

"I know."

_Let us head over there._

"We are already here."

"I have called everyone here today for an important meeting," announced Einstein, "We have been working on a secret project for, oh, about seven years."

"What is the project called," yelled out a random worm.

"Shut-up," Einstein yelled back, "before I release the felines!"

"What good would they do?"

"Release the felines!"_ What ensued next could only be described as a massacre. The three cats were released from the cage and immediately charged at the worm. He threw a punch at the first one. The cat swiftly avoided the fist and latched onto his arm, pulling out chunk after chunk of meat. While he was frenziedly trying to remove the first one the second one attached itself to his tail and proceeded to shred it to pieces. He freaked out and was trying to remove both cats unsuccessfully. Soon the third one leapt at his face and things really went downhill. At this point his right arm was nothing but bone and the first cat had attached itself to his left arm. Soon his tail fell off and he fell over, unable to defend himself. Within minutes he was dead. None of the cats were harmed._

"Anyone else care to interrupt," asked Einstein, "No? Good. Anyway, this secret project has produced several incredibly strong worms and we need someone to test fight them. Actually six someones, it would be six on six deathmatch. Any volunteers?"

"I'll go," announced Sigurn.

"Good, five more."

"Me too," stated Tomb.

"Four left."

_Rhubarb raised his hand because he almost never talked._

"Three."

"I nominate myself," announced the leader of the Worminators and inventor of the popular sports drink Micks Mix's mix, Micks Mix.

"Two more."

"I will give it a go," decided Gunslinger, brother of Micks Mix, cousin of Sigurn, best pistol shooter on the Gods.

"Last one."

_Suddenly the doors burst open._

"Count me in," announced Graveyard, Tomb's older brother and groundskeeper, gravedigger, embalmer, mortician, funeral director, Hearse driver, coffin maker, ghost catcher, zombie slayer, burial specialist, obituary writer, epitaph engraver, and tombstone chiseler of the local graveyard.

"Talk about morbid, anyway, ready? Everyone to the stadium!"

_And so all worms squirmed over to the stadium, a very large virtual arena. A random landscape is selected for every battle. Mines, oil barrels, and very large propane tanks are set randomly over the landscape._

"Okay everyone, for the main event. On this side weighing in at six worms, we have… the Outlaws! We have the leader Sigurn! Warrior extraordinaire, trained by Ninjas, Samurais, and Spartans! Specializes in explosives and Ninja Ropes! His handicap is laziness!

We have Tomb! Extreme hand combat expert! His only handicap is his short temper, don't anger him unless you want to see dragonballs flying everywhere and fire that can melt the sun!

Now we have Rhubarb! Weighing in at 300 lbs (all of it is muscle)! He can squirm fast, bend steel with his tongue. He specializes in throwing worms a human mile. His only handicap is, um, his lack of coordination.

Micks Mix, he specializes in utilities and his sports drink which would make Log's heart beat so fast he would have a heart attack! His handicap is lack of explosive experience.

Next we have Gunslinger, competitive pistol shooter and quick draw champion! He once managed to shoot the gun out of his own hand when he challenged himself to a quick draw! His handicap is that he always wears his western style hat.

And finally we have Graveyard. Master of the morbid, king of the killed, despot of the dead! Specializes in everything sullen and morose, he can not be intimidated, he once stared down an angry bear and it ran crying! He has absolutely no handicaps!

And in this corner we have the, drum roll please… the Android Annelids! First is T17, programmed with a voice that sounds like the Terminator! Top of the AI, he makes 4,400 calculations a second!

Next we have 4 A.M. P.M! He was programmed to make impossible shots! He will be Gunslinger's worst nightmare!

Now for T16dec! He is the most realistic AI, unfortunately for him that means emotions!

Squirminator2k, there was a slight malfunction while he was being programmed! So now whenever he fires a shot he always says his target, the expected time it will hit, and how to dodge!

Dark Crow! He was our most important part in the project! We have successfully combined AI with something extra, he can transform into a crow! His accuracy is not very good, but he has communications with the rest of the team! He can find out where everyone is, so be aware.

Finally Beat2k! He should be easy enough to find as there was a malfunction in the radio. Now wherever he goes, there will be music!

Now that all formalities have been finished the battle will commence. Let the landscape generator activate… Oh, great battle spot, Two for One Price Island!" _Two for One Price Island (twoforoneprice on Worms 3d) is a large floating island about 50 ft above the water. It progresses along on a bunch of little islands and two spiral staircases. One of the islands is a "garbage disposal," an island that contains a big gaping hole in the center, convenient to push worms into. It is also best when indestructible._

"Ha," yelled Einstein, "My speech was longer."

_Yes, but you were listing off all worms and their specialties and handicaps._

"Anyway, let the battle commence!"

_Immediately after those words all worms scrambled. All except for Graveyard, who just stood in the center, patiently watching everything. T17 charged right up to him but still Graveyard stood. T17 then made the fatal mistake of attempting to stare down Graveyard. It fixed him with his hardest stare, Graveyard didn't move a muscle, he just stood there with a blank expression on his face. T17 concentrated harder with still no reaction. It tried concentrating as hard as possible with absolutely no result. T17 pulled out two double barreled shotguns and pointed them straight at him, still nothing. Its hands started shaking, then its whole body, T17 was becoming anxious. Graveyard just stood jaded, he took one glance at the barrels and decided he was going to stare down T17. His stare hardened, the guns started to wobble even more, T17 was sweating now. Graveyard concentrated harder, T17 was becoming more anxious and hesitant, it started looking around, praying for a stray bullet to take him out. Graveyard then had a sudden, ingenious idea, he said one word, and that broke it. The word he said was "boo", T17 wet himself, started crying and ran for his life. The audience was speechless, Einstein's jaw dropped, his state-of-the-art Artificial Intelligence had just been scared off by a morbid grave worker. At the same time Tomb was facing T16dec, he threw the first punch, T16dec dodged like the Matrix and pulled Tomb's hand out of the air, it swung him around and threw him at the spiral staircase. Tomb smashed right into it, leaving a huge crater. He slowly got up and charged back at the android. He tackled it as hard as he could, T16dec just shrugged it off, flipped Tomb over and drilled him into the ground. It proceeded to punch him repeatedly, Tomb was doomed. However, he got lucky, at that moment Gunslinger shot T16dec, 54 times in three seconds with a revolver. One revolver, I don't even know how that is possible, but he lives up to his name. Thankfully, this is a simulation so no one is killed or injured. Everyone has a health meter on a giant television. Currently Tomb's and T16dec's were empty so they were teleported into the audience. Caw, Caw. That was Dark Crow, scanning the ground and alerting his team. Suddenly Gunslinger shot him right out of the air and into the water. The Outlaws are inexorable. Two-thousand one hundred twenty-seventh word at the two. Why I said that nobody knows. Currently on the Health Board: Graveyard and Beat2k at full health. Gunslinger at half health from a grenade along with T17. Sigurn at one third from some mysterious reason. Rhubarbs health was fluctuating wildly. Micks Mix was just teleported out. Still remaining: Sigurn, Rhubarb, Gunslinger, Graveyard, T17, 4 A.M. P.M, Beat2k, Squirminator 2k. Finished: Tomb, T16dec, Micks Mix, and Dark Crow. At this point Graveyard became bored with the battle and decided that it was a draw. So he walked out of the arena and went back to digging graves. Three v. four worms. Sigurn suddenly tripped and landed in the drink. Two to four, maybe they aren't as unstoppable as previously thought. Very quickly after that it was one to four, Gunslinger did not draw fast enough *Gasp*. Rhubarb v. T17, 4 A.M. P.M, Beat2k, and Squirminator 2k. Rhubarb was looking around, very curious as to why he was the last worm. Beat2k advanced on him, Rhubarb was still looking around, completely oblivious to the approaching danger. Beat2k was almost on Rhubarb when he suddenly swung his fist around, nailing Beat2k in the face. If this were not a simulation, its head would have been thrown clean off. Instead it just went flying very far. The remaining three androids realized the threat he posed and approached him simultaneously. Rhubarb looked at T17 then started charging at 4 A.M. P.M, but he tripped over flat ground and crushed Squirminator2k under him. The two remaining androids made a mad dash at him. Rhubarb got up just as T17 threw a punch at him, the fist hit Rhubarb and T17 screamed in pain, it was as if he had just punched pure, compressed iron. As T17 was writhing on the ground Rhubarb picked up 4 A.M. P.M swung him around in an ellipse, the swinging quickly became faster and faster until Rhubarb just went and smashed it right into T17. A couple of worms were looking at the big screen when that happened, the health bars went from practically full to completely empty in yoctoseconds (10 __to the negative 24th power__)._

"And the Outlaws are victorious," Einstein cheered.

_The crowd is going absolutely wild!_

"Not really," Einstein yelled back, "they are still gaping at what Rhubarb just did."

_The crowd is going wild right about… wait for it… they are still gaping… Now! Wait… still gapi- *applause* Hey! I was narrating. I will now start playing some random form of music… never mind. I am leaving._

_Meanwhile, wait… not meanwhile, about thirty minutes after the victory at Crow Base 1. (I am talking about the victory at the arena.)_

"Sigurn," started Tomb, "I think we are going to war."

"What makes you think that," asked Sigurn.

"Because Einstein just got an E-mail that says-"

"Wait, I'll read it."

_Dear Einstein,_

_With absolutely no regret I must inform you that we are declaring war on all worms on the islands. You have been a nuisance to us and we will eliminate you and take over the world. You have been holding us back for a long while but we will tolerate it no more. We just wish to warn you that you have thirty days to pack up and leave so that we may hunt you down later. If you wish to put up a fight I will tell you that it would mean the end of you because we have some very powerful worms on our side. Fighting back is not recommended and as of now I am updating my Facebook status to "At war". Also just in case you decided to flee into space we have a group of very advanced and evil aliens ready to chase you down and exterminate you. And no, we are not talking about Daleks. Anyway, dnfgjklanflvno. Sorry about that, Yertigonilt face-planted on the keyboard, don't know why I didn't bother to delete it. Anyway again, you will surrender your secret base or we will take it by force. Kfgnikbnf. Stop face-planting Yertigonilt! Wait… why did I type that. Also I am denying your friend request._

_In evilness, Joe Bananas._

"This is horrible," complained Sigurn, "They have discovered this base, we will be besieged!"

"If you think that was strange you should see what Einstein wrote."

_Dear Joe Bananas,_

_With absolutely no regret I must inform you that we will not surrender or retreat. You will feel a full defense, and if that fails a full rebellion. Also it does not matter how much of an army you have, you will be stopped no matter what the price would be. I also just updated my Facebook status to "indifferent about war declaration". I have no issues with worms face-planting on my keyboard because none will get close enough. I never sent you a friend request so I do not know how you received one from me. Also your war declarations through E-mail is getting very annoying, so far I have counted 44 and you have not won a single war. You may have your own aliens but we have ours. If we have to we can run through more than just space._

_I shall return despite the fact that I never left, Einstein._

"Is it just me or is Einstein horrible at E-mailing," asked Sigurn.

"It's not you, he really is horrible," answered Tomb.

"Why did we put the computer outside?"

"I don't know but it is really cold."

"I'm heading in."

"Hey, wait for me."

_Now I'm the only one outside. Why am I still out here, it is freezing. What is that? Oh, it's a banana! … Wait… that's not a banana, that's a banana bomb! __***Boom* *Boom**boom**boom**boom*.**_

"What was that," queried Sigurn as he squirmed outside.

_The old narrator just died. I am here though._

"Hey, you have a Norwegian accent."

_I know, that's where I was born._

"Anyway, are we under attack so soon?"

_How should I know?_

"You're the narrator! It is your job to know," Sigurn yelled, clearly very angry.

_Normally I would cut the chapter off here but Sigurn is angry enough as it is so we will go off at a tangent for a bit longer._

"Who are you talking to," Sigurn yelled, becoming increasingly angry.

_No one, You are under attack though._

"What makes you think that?"

_Because I can see an army approaching the base._

"Battle stations everyone! Rhubarb, man the catapult. Not the normal one, the really big one that can launch very very big boulders. Freya, raise the drawbridge! Amoeba, retrieve weapons for me and DragonFace to use!"

"Blasted," shouted DragonFace, "retrieve large boulders not being used to block loose objects! Rhubarb is going to need them! Knuckles, if the drawbridge fails or Freya does not get it up, punch anyone that enters! Tomb, man the turret!"

"I'll get the other turret," announced Sigurn, "Tomb, the turret you are manning is for worms! The one I have is for Aircraft, or flying rocks from catapults and trebuchets!"

"I'll set up some sentry guns," yelled DragonFace.

_The siege is on._

_**To Be Continued…**_

* * *

><p>Cliffhanger! I am so excited, it took forever to write this chapter. Finally the Russian narrator has died, no narrator will last as long as that one. I said violins in the summary because I did not have enough room for violence. I have nothing else to say so I will skip right to the questions.<p>

Where did Sigurn learn to disappear?

How did Tomb get his name?

Who are those evil worms?

Does anyone know any accents I haven't used?

Why are all the good worms so naïve?

How will this siege end?

Why is Freya such an idiot?

Why is Graveyard so morbid? (I love that word, morbid)


	3. Chapter 3

_**Continued…**_

"How large is the army," shouted a very angry Sigurn.

"About thirty thousand worms," DragonFace shouted back.

"Is that all," Sigurn asked, sounding very relieved, "We can take them!"

"No, I see reinforcements in the distance! And a tank!"

"Rhubarb, how far can that catapult fire?"

"Only about three thousand feet," answered the bulky worm.

"How far is that tank?"

"About half a mile away," answered DragonFace.

"That's about 2,500 feet, correct."

"Yes."

"Okay Rhubarb, take aim and fire at will."

_Look at that rock go. How much does that weigh, 1,000 pounds?_

"It actually weighs twice that," answered Blasted.

_It's heading straight for the tank._

"I think that tank was carrying nukes," observed Sigurn.

_Look at the size of that mushroom cloud._

"You do realize that it must have been carrying very small nukes," DragonFace pointed out, "The explosion didn't reach us despite the fact that we are only half a mile away."

_I know, that was the world's smallest mushroom cloud._

"Ah well, the tank is dead," Sigurn shrugged.

_Well there is more army than a tank._

"Oh, yes, Tomb! How are you doing over there?"

"The turret is fine, I'm fine, now shut up, I'm working," Tomb shouted back.

"Now why would they send only thirty thousand worms, last time they sent four times as much? Stupid cloning factories."

_Will you start fighting back? They are aiming at me!_

"Oh, right. Amoeba, what are the three biggest weapons in our storage?"

"We have a Concrete Donkey, several Holy Hand Grenades, and a modified Sentry Gun," answered the tiny worm.

"Modified how," asked Sigurn.

"It shoots Banana Bombs."

"Oh, give me, give me, give me!"

"Here you are."

_Hurry up, I just lost an eyebrow!_

"Let me just set it up. There we go, now start firing!"

_It can't see any movement!_

"Fine, I'll prod it forward slightly, *nudge*. There we are."

_Yes, it locked on! Hey, it doesn't shoot Banana Bombs, it shoots Holy Hand Grenades!_

"Even better. Hey Freya, this Sentry Gun is doing a better job of digging a moat than you did!"

"Oh, shut up," answered the stupid little worm.

"Tomb," DragonFace shouted.

"Shut up, I'm working. Don't make me turn this turret on you!"

_I recommend that you do not upset the homicidal workaholic._

"Thanks for the tip," yelled DragonFace sarcastically.

"I am hungry," Sigurn announced, "I am also ordering. What does everyone want?"

"Pepperoni pizza," everyone declared simultaneously.

"Okay, 628-7858, is that correct? Yes? (That is not a phone number that I know about, I just typed random numbers) Good, yes, I would like an extremely large Pepperoni pizza for delivery. The address is 73956, Crow Base 1. Okay, thank you, have a nice day. It will be delivered in 5... 4... 3... 2... and… ***crash***. Look! It crushed the army! Is that enough pizza for everyone?"

"No," Amoeba shouted, "I need seven of those!"

"No you don't, I have a Giant Watermelon right here."

"How big is that pizza," Blasted intruded.

"Normal human large," answered Sigurn, "So about a mile in diameter to us. Dig in, Bon appetite, Dinner is served, etcetera, etcetera."

"Shortest siege ever," complained Tomb, "Now what am I supposed to do?"

"You are supposed to eat, that is what the pizza is for. Do I need to spell it out for you? Tomb, eat, pizza. T-O-M-B, E-A-"

"Okay, Okay, you don't need to spell it out for me."

"Too late, I already started, -T, P-I-Z-Z-A."

"So you have fought off one army," laughed a mysterious worm, "So what? It's only one army. You will be dead before long, brother."

"How did you get here," demanded Sigurn, as he whipped around, but th worm was gone, "And how did you wake up?"

"Oh, it was simple," the mysterious worm continued to mock Sigurn, "I knew someday a fool would wake me up, it was only a matter of time."

"You can't hide from me forever," bellowed Sigurn, "You will not win!"

"Oh, are you sure of that," the voice grew more cheery, almost ecstatic, "What war brother? You will die eventually; this is more of an extermination. Killing off all little, annoying, pests."

"I will stop you," Sigurn grumbled half-heartedly, "If it's the last thing I do."

"You can't stop me," chuckled that annoying, semi-deep voice, "That's exactly why I was put to sleep, so you wouldn't have to face me. Besides, you are facing the test of time; I have been asleep for 74 years, so I am in my prime. Sleep slowed my aging process, while you are 75, I am only about 30. Besides, how can you stop the three of us, _brother_," he hissed that last word.

"You," roared DragonFace as he squirmed in, "How did you get here, how did you wake up?"

"Why, hello brother, it is a _pleasure _to see you after so long."

"You will be stopped," DragonFace yelled.

"Oh, you too, over my dead body."

"That is exactly how I plan to do it," shrieked DragonFace as he launched himself at the mysterious worm. Unfortunately, the worm had disappeared.

"Who was that," questioned Tomb as he squirmed into the room.

"That was an evil worm," answered Sigurn in a daze, "To be precise, my evil twin. He has no name, so we call him Evil Sigurn."

"I heard him say, 'the three of us'," mentioned Tomb, "There are two others?"

"Yes," it was DragonFace who answered, "I also had an evil twin, in fact, our brother Dragon was the only one who didn't have an evil twin. Mine was named Dragonfist."

"What about the third," queried Tomb.

"That's the tricky part," replied Sigurn, "You also had a twin."

"Me," spluttered Tomb, obviously shocked.

"Yes you," started DragonFace, "You had a twin who we put to sleep at birth. We gave him a name, the reverse of yours actually."

"The reverse of mine," questioned Tomb, "My full name is Tombstone."

"Exactly, his name was Stone Tomb."

"The thing about these twins is that they know everything we know," stated Sigurn, "Everything we know about fighting, weapons, utilities, everything. It even goes so far down so they know what we had for dinner last week or the name of a crush we had 60 years ago. The only difference between us and them is they use what they know for evil. Not like the evil they use in stupid kids shows. Not petty little things. They use it for pure, unadulterated evil. They are not trying to destroy a nemesis or take over a city; they will destroy this universe right down to time. This universe will never have existed. After they are done with that they will go on to the next universe, and the next, until all reality is destroyed."

"But according to parallel universes, shouldn't all reality be destroyed even if we stop them here?" asked Tomb.

"No, we only exist in this one universe, the Law of Parallel Universes does not apply to us. They are also the only creatures in all of reality that can destroy it without making some complex machine and aligning a bunch of planets perfectly."

"What do you mean all of reality," asked Tomb as he was struggling to comprehend this.

"Everything, from the smallest atom outwards. This world will be destroyed, then the solar system, then the galaxy, then the cluster, then the super cluster, then the universe, the all the universes, all outward until the fabric of reality itself is reached. That will be torn apart like a wet paper towel so absolutely nothing can exist ever again. There will be nothing, try to imagine that. Nothing, the absence of everything, the vastness of it. There will not even be an echo because an echo needs something to carry it. Nothing, not light nor sound, time and space do not exist."

"I cannot imagine," conceded Tomb.

"Because it is incomprehensible, inconceivable, unthinkable, unfathomable, no color, no physics, nothing."

"They must be stopped," announced Tomb.

"Which means war. DragonFace, contact Einstein, I need to tell him something."

"Okay, let me just initiate contact… and here we go, Einstein on the big screen."

"Einstein, I need to talk to you!"

"I know," Einstein seemed worried, "Who visited you?"

"What do you mean 'Who visited you'," Sigurn asked.

"I mean who visited you, Stone Tomb just threatened me."

"My evil twin showed up, and I tried to explain nothing to Tomb."

"Which means who did Dragonfist visit?"

"I have a hunch, to the Great Pasture!"

_About 10 minutes later, at the Great Pasture._

"Whew, it's warm here," sighed Sigurn.

"That's because this is very far north, there is only really summer," Einstein answered.

"Okay, where do they normally land?"

"Look for the giant round crater."

"Duh, why didn't I think of that?"

"Here we are, look a drunken worm. Crap, he's stumbling through the crater. Get out of the-"

_There was great whooshing sound as an enormous flying saucer dropped out of the sky. It did not land all graceful, like in __Mars Attacks__. It came down at very high speeds and collided with the ground, sending dirt flying and burying itself to the rim. The poor drunk was crushed beneath it. Sigurn squirmed up to the door and knocked._

"Hey, open up!"

"What do you want," complained an alien as he squirmed out (his voice sounds like on Worms 3d).

"Did a mysterious worm visit you Stergenoff?"

"Not me, a mysterious worm did visit Zribly though."

_Now just in case you were wondering, these aliens learned to speak English at some point and they look like the aliens on Worms 4 Mayhem (not the blue ones). The names are strange because they are a rough translation to English._

"So I hear you were visited by a mysterious worm Zribly," interrogated Sigurn.

"Yes, a strange worm calling himself 'Dragonfist'," answered Zribly.

"Okay, good."

"Good?"

"Bad, very bad."

"How so?"

"Him and two others are going to destroy reality."

"So we need to stop them?"

"They also have some advanced aliens working with them."

_After Sigurn said that all the blood, or um, liquid drained out of Zribly's face._

"That's not good. Not good at all," Zribly was talking faster and faster, "How could they get here. It's impossible," He started slipping back into his native language, which I am unable to type.

"Get a hold of yourself," shouted Sigurn as he started to shake Zribly.

"We have been running from them for many years."

"Running from who Zribly?"

"They destroyed our home planet!"

"Who?"

"Now they will destroy us!"

"Damn it Zribly! Who," Sigurn yelled.

"We don't have a name for them. They are a group of highly advanced, very evil aliens."

"Great, now we are involved with two alien races," complained Sigurn.

"They are blue-skinned, their head is pure bone until the brain, and they have horns. Other than that they look like you."

"Clearly we need more help. Einstein, contact Psychopath."

"No!" yelled Einstein, "Not him! He hates us! He has been alive for 500 years and he still hates us! I do not want to ally myself with such a ruthless dictator!"

"He may control 86% of the Mainland, 23% of the Island Chain, the Arctic Circle, Antarctica, 98% of the ocean floor, and the Sea of Tranquility, but he doesn't want all of reality to end either!"

"Is there anyone else?"

"I am sure there are more, but I cannot think of any. We still must go to him."

"Why?" Einstein cried.

"Bring Zribly. We are going to the end of the world."

_Two hours later, on the Mainland._

"Here we are," mumbled Sigurn, "At least it is still warmer than Crow Base 1."

"Stop complaining about that. Zribly, you need to wear a Top Hat to hide those antennae."

"Fine, (grumbled in native language), there, happy now?"

"Of course not," Einstein said indignantly, "We are going to meet an immortal dictator who hates our guts."

"He's not only immortal, he's immoral," said Sigurn.

"Your language confuses me," grumbled Zribly, "Immortal and immoral sound so similar but mean different things."

"It should be only a few minutes before we are surrounded by Military worms," Einstein said, clearly unhappy about this.

_A few minutes later._

"There they are," announced Sigurn.

"Take me to your leader," yelled Zribly, "I've always wanted to say that."

"Who is the leader among you," questioned Einstein.

"That would be me," said a large, commanding worm.

"We have to visit the dictator," announced Einstein, addressing the leader.

"You have no need to visit him, we were given orders to kill you."

"Aim your weapons," yelled Einstein.

_Sigurn held up a 10 gauge shotgun, Zribly held up what looked like a ray gun, and Einstein revealed what appeared to be a, um. I don't know what it looked like so I will describe it. It was white, the barrel appeared to be a sort of dish, and there was something sticking out of the center of the dish._

"We can take your army General," scoffed Einstein.

"How did you know my rank," the General became a bit worried.

"I have an IQ of 256, I know everything. Well, almost everything, I still don't know how to lo."

"I'm sure Psychopath would want to see you. Let me just contact him. Psychopath, these three are going to see you whether you want to or not."

"Don't use that tone with me," the voice came screaming through.

"I'm not using any tone, they would kill us and then see you. So we have no choice."

"Fine, send them over."

"Follow," commanded the General.

_Along the way the three started mumbling amongst themselves._

"I'm surprised you haven't taken to space yet," Zribly said.

"We are almost there," replied Einstein.

"What does that thing do Zribly," Sigurn asked.

"It is a charged particle beam projector. Or a death ray to you. This one disrupts the heart of Earthborn creatures."

"What about yours Einstein?"

"This silly old thing, it is a prototype. It's not even a weapon. It is supposed to turn anything earthborn, besides plants, fungus, protists, and bacteria, into a worm, I do not think it would work on an alien. I have to test it eventually. It actually emits a shockwave that changes the DNA structure to that of a worm, shrinking them down in the process."

"Anyway, what do you suggest we do when we get there," asked Sigurn.

"Why are you asking me? I thought you had a plan," complained Einstein.

"We should probably wing it then."

"Here we are," announced the General.

_So they entered the building. Maybe that sentence was too boring. They passed into the threshold of the monstrous work of modern architecture. That was better, eh._

"We have to talk to you Psychopath," announced Sigurn.

_Psychopath swung around in his giant chair way at the end of the hallway._

"Please, step forward."

"That's a lot of walking," whined Sigurn.

"I don't care what you think," yelled Psychopath.

"Fine."

_So they stepped forward. Too boring again. The group strode onward towards the homicidal, immortal, immoral totalitarian. How was that eh, probably got me killed if he heard._

"I heard that! Do not worry, I won't kill you. _Yet_. Muahahahahahahaha."

"We have," began Sigurn, only to be silenced by Psychopath.

"Wait… Now state the reason you have approached me where you are not welcome."

"We have come to request your assistance."

"For what?"

"They have awaken."

_All the blood drained out of Psychopath's face. That has been happening a lot recently._

"I accept your request, but only until they are killed."

"We thank you."

"Now before you go, why did you bring an alien?"

"How did you know about that?"

"I know all, well almost all, I still don't know how to behold."

"Hey, Einstein doesn't know how to lo."

"So between us we can lo and behold. Now leave my lair!"

"Wait! Don't you want answer?"

"To what?"

"Why we brought the alien."

"Oh, sure," Psychopath didn't seem to care anymore.

"There are advanced aliens."

_All the blood drained out of Psychopath's face, again._

"Stop with the bad news! It coagulates my blood!"

_Suddenly an alarm went off. I need to start making sentences more exciting. A siren started blaring unexpectedly._

"One of my bases is being attacked," announced Psychopath.

"Where is it?"

"Just step onto my teleporter! It should take you there," Psychopath was yelling now, "You need weapons!"

"No we don't, we are armed."

"How so?"

"I have a ten gauge and seven thousand rounds of ammo. Zribly has a death ray. And Einstein has, that thing."

"Fine off you go, and tell me what is attacking."

_And on to the teleporter they went._

"Yay," exclaimed Sigurn, "No snow!"

"We are in the middle of a battlefield," Einstein pointed out.

"You don't actually have a weapon."

"Who cares, I haven't seen this much action since PurpleLite went on a blind drunken rage!"

"Looks like the work of Stone Tomb."

"Hey," exclaimed Einstein, "I'm getting a message on my watch. Hello, Einstein here."

"It's me, Psychopath."

"What is it, I'm busy."

"Two more bases are being attacked, I need you to split up."

"Deal," decided Sigurn.

"But I don't have a weapon," whispered Einstein.

"Here, use mine," mumbled Sigurn.

"But what will you use?"

"Me? The U.S. government has labeled me as a Weapon of Mass Destruction. Besides, I'm an airsmith, I can make guns and ammo using air."

"Fine, give it here."

"Sigurn, Zribly," began Psychopath, "step onto the teleporter."

_**Einstein**_

"So I get stuck with Stone Tomb's work. Okay army feel the wrath of a ten gauge!"

_So Einstein rushed into the fray, guns blazing. Not really, he hadn't shot a shotgun in years. There was a very large army attacking the base with only a few of the Military capable of defending it. Einstein took careful aim at the first worm, who was attacking a private with a machete. He pulled the trigger and was knocked over by the recoil._

"_Whoa, forgot the power of that. Oh well, it got the job done."_

_The worm slumped over his head missing in action. A worm yelled out, "There's more on the way!" That was not good because that meant the cloning factories were up and running. More worms started flooding through the gates. Einstein took careless aim at the flooding worms and prayed that these were scattershot ammo. He pulled the trigger and to his satisfaction saw multiple worms explode, he was again knocked down from the recoil. Next shot he braced for the recoil though and was not bashed by the gun. He was starting to feel young again. Unfortunately he forgot one important rule, always watch your back, unless you are backed up against a wall. He was struck by a worm carrying a baseball bat and was knocked out._

_**Sigurn**_

"Yep, this looks like my evil twin's work."

_Sigurn launched himself into the fracas. Several worms took one look at him and burst out laughing, he wasn't wearing armor, he had no weapons. The first worm he killed was almost crying from the sight. Sigurn strolled up to him, grabbed his hand, swung him around, and hit him against the ground so hard the worm disintegrated from the force of the impact. Sigurn glanced around and saw that all worms laughing at him had either vaporized or ran away. He reached his hands up as if he was grabbing a gun off a shelf, formed it a bit, decided he wanted a shotgun, and pumped it. He squirmed into the nearest building and caused several worms to fall over laughing, there he was "pretending" he had a gun in his hand. He aimed at the first worm and pulled the trigger, there was absolutely no sound, one of the advantages of air. A large hole opened up in the worm and he died. When I say a large hole, I meant the lower half of his body had all but disintegrated. All the other worms stopped laughing immediately and a look of pure terror spread over there faces. He shot four of the five remaining and then heard a click._

"_Hmm, only a five-round gun," he observed. The last worm started to look relieved, but then Sigurn started to approach him and he relieved himself. He started scrambling to get away but was unsuccessful, Sigurn hit him with the butt of the gun, killing him. He then decided to discard the gun and subsequently grabbed a new one, this one was a .45 handgun. He squirmed out of that building and into the next one, and again everyone started laughing. He shot everybody in sight and moved to the next building. He pulled the trigger and there was that click. What a bad time for that. All the worms that were laughing suddenly straightened up and freaked out, they thought he was pretending. He threw away the gun and punched the first worm right in the center of his face. That worm went flying and took out another. One of the worms called for back-up and was immediately killed, but had called successfully. The place was soon overrun with enemies, a bad place for Sigurn. He threw another punch and took out an arc of worms around him. No matter how many he killed, a few always landed blows so he was growing weaker and weaker. He decided he needed sometime to think so he suddenly disappeared and reappeared outside. He made a few grenades out of air and lobbed them into the building, killing most worms inside. He then grabbed another gun out of thin air and strolled inside to finish off the rest. After that was done he squirmed back outside and saw that the army was retreating. He appeared on the wall of the base facing the retreating worms and formed a turret out of air. He shot all the retreating worms in the back, put up a sign that read: __**Warning, there is a turret right here made out of air. It has about 60 boxes of ammo around it. Do not shoot it, it will make a very large explosion despite the fact it is made out of air, enjoy.  
><strong>__**-Sigurn**_

_After putting up the sign he decided to see if Zribly was finished._

_**Zribly**_

"Why did I get stuck with the army of the one who threatened me?"

_Zribly looked around a bit then leapt into the quarrel. He realized that this should be a piece of cake for him, his death ray had unlimited ammunition, it ran on electrons. He wove back and forth, shooting anything that moved. Worms fell, lawyers laughed. He had worked his way about halfway into the base when his gun stopped working (*Gasp*). He looked at it and saw that it had run out of charge, then yelled something that I am incapable of repeating. He resorted to hand combat, something he hadn't used in a long while. He wasn't as good as he thought, as his punches weren't knocking worms out. He met one worm in a fierce battle. He threw the first punch, the worm dodged and threw a punch right back, it knocked Zribly sideways and off his tail. He started to get up and was punched back down. He was rolled over and punched in the face, knocking his top hat off. His attacker said gasp and fainted. Zribly put his hat back on and decided he might need help. He retreated into a building and attempted to put a charge back into his gun. He attempted for about five minutes when he heard a voice outside._

"_We have successfully taken over this base! For Dragonfist!" The voice cheered._

"_For Dragonfist! For Dragonfist! For Dragonfist!" More voices cheered. Suddenly and luckily his device started to regain it's charge, very quickly. It was at full charge in seconds. Zribly burst the door open and yelled, "Thank you for gathering in one place! It makes an invasion so much easier!" The worms took one look at the lone alien and became overconfident._

"_You think that you alone can kill all of us," one of them shouted._

"_No," he shouted back, "Half of me could kill all of you!" He then proceeded to open fire. Worm after worm fell, they were stunned by their overconfidence, in a way. When you don't expect much and then get a lot, it surprises you. The worms didn't react for about a minute then the last worm remaining freaked out and was killed. Zribly squirmed over to the teleporter and was surprised when Sigurn appeared in it._

"Surprise," he yelled, "Am I late for anything?"

"Yes," came the answer, "I am the only one alive because my battery died."

"How does that make you the only one alive?"

"Turns out I'm horrible at hand combat so I hid in a building for five minutes."

"Oh, lettuce go help Einstein."

"Why did you say lettuce instead of let us?"

"Because I feel like it!"

_**Einstein, Sigurn, Zribly**_

"Do you see Einstein anywhere," called Sigurn.

"No," came the reply.

_So they set off to find him. They searched everywhere, there was absolutely no life anywhere. It was deserted, pure common sense told Sigurn that it was a trap._

"_This is a trap," said Sigurn._

"_I know," answered Zribly, "They would not just desert a base they were attempting to take over." As if on cue worms started flooding in from everywhere. Sigurn pulled an assault rifle out of air and Zribly drew his death ray. They opened fire simultaneously and stood back to back. No worm got closer than three feet to them. Every time Sigurn ran out of ammo he pulled another clip out of air. Every time Zribly's gun ran out of charge Sigurn rewrote reality so it was at full charge. Wave after wave of worms descended upon them. Little did they know they were all coming straight out of a cloning factory. There was over 9 million of them. About thirty miles away Einstein was creeping up on the cloning factory. He pulled out a nuclear grenade, pulled the pin, and tossed it down the chimney. He then used a preset teleport and appeared back at the base. The mushroom cloud was seen 160 miles away._

_Meanwhile, in the human world._

"What was that," a man exclaimed. He had dark brown hair and was wearing a suit with a brown had seen the mushroom cloud and ran that way, followed by a young blond woman.

"I have never seen anything like that before! An explosion just came out of nowhere!" They ran towards it. About halfway there the man stopped and sniffed the air.

"Stay back! This place is covered in radiation!"

"What's wrong," asked the young woman.

"This makes no sense! Reality is falling apart, explosions are coming out of nowhere, and the radiation just vanished."

"Have you seen this before?"

"Never, I just saw another explosion! This way!" The man took off running again.

_Back in the worm world_

"Einstein," yelled Sigurn, "I am glad to see you! Look at all these worms!"

"Yes, we can exchange pleasantries later. There was a cloning factory over there, I threw a nuclear grenade into it."

"One of those ones that has short-lived radiation?"

"Yes, that one" _Suddenly Einstein was attacked from the side. He managed to struggle out of it and accidentally pulled out his prototype. He glanced at the gun and realized his mistake. He struggled to put it back but was not fast enough. The worm who had attacked him shot at him. Einstein saw the bullet in slow motion. He looked over and slightly up and saw a human man running this way, followed by a woman. He looked back at his prototype and saw the bullet hit it. Everything went purple as the bullet made the prototype explode, engulfing everything around it, even the two humans._

_**To Be Continued…**_

_**(In another story)**_

* * *

><p>The ultimate cliffhanger! Not really. You read right, this story will be continued in another story. I case you are wondering it will be continued in a crossover, big hint. I was so excited about this story. I was not expecting this to happen when I started the story, I was not even expecting this when I started the chapter, I do not plan ahead. 10% planning 90% improvisation. I realized the potential for a crossover when I noticed that this war engulfs all of reality. No, I will not tell you what this is crossing with. That is a surprise. Time for questions!<p>

Where did Sigurn learn to disappear?

Does anyone know any accents I haven't used?

Why are all the good worms so naïve?

Why did Psychopath accept them so readily?

Who were those two humans?


End file.
